Post by Dorian Gray on Nov 23, 2010 12:22:58 GMT -5
Dorian Gray was trapped. His respite from the new fear that filled him had been short-lived as, only three weeks after Hallward's death, Lord Henry Wotton had found him and begun again with his intriguing sentiments, whispered sweetly into the ear as honey. With the return of his eloquent role-model had come the hazing, blurring momentum that was slowly eradicating the young man's horror and guilt. He had not looked at the portrait since Harry had stridden into his parlour and produced tickets to a local Burlesque act, guaranteed to be a delight and dripping with sensuous opportunity. Dorian had succumbed quickly, more quickly than he thought he might have. Before long, he was at Harry’s mercy, once again, and casually agreeing to more and more despite the lingering distaste that reminded him of that disfigured face that haunted the upstairs bedroom.
He yearned to change that hideous visage and restore it to its former youthful glory. How he had destroyed his young self. And yet, by the wonder of an unknown force, here he was, glorious as ever. The beckoning of high society, and the richness of beauty that filled it, drove him on towards lower depths. No matter the darkest moments of his failing conscience, he could not get out of this circus of pleasures. He could not escape it to find more moral grounds. How could he when he had been so excellent schooled by Harry in the wonders of total absorption into life?
Tonight, he felt the tug of both provocations intently. Harry had thrown an impromptu party and invited his usual, obscenely extravagant, list of wealthy acquaintances to Dorian’s flat. Of course, no one refused an invitation from Sir Henry, it proved always to be too greater experience to miss. Tonight seemed no exception. Dorian could smell the sickly sweet smell of Opium from his library. The fun had begun early. Dorian felt the flickering excitement that came from the promise of lavishness, but felt a little ill as it clashed in his stomach with the looming sense of foreboding that threatened to overwhelm him.
As he descended the staircase towards the billiards room, he felt the to-and-fro motion of self-argument. There were so many people, so drastically close to his greatest shame and depravity. He wanted to scream for them all to leave him in solitude to wrestle with what he had done, but that thought only left him panicked. He could not imagine passing up this opportunity to experience life at its most vivid. He could not face what life without it would be. He was scared of the dark. He was scared of being alone with himself. More so, he was scared of being alone with it. The image shattered into his expectations. Those eyes. He stopped, clutching the banister as he felt the tightening in his chest that signified the returning agitation. He looked up, a pained expression flashing momentarily across his face. He could not do this.
Then, something drifted across his senses, a vision from the corner of his eye pulling his focus away from the gnarled face and to the eternal wonder of a beautiful face. It was a newly-arrived guest, just in from the cold evening. Dorian’s mind dove into that poetic place that was summoned in all appreciations of fine art and music at the picture of the lone figure and his enthralled side emerged more willing than ever to find a goddess to worship. She was captivating and his conscientious mind was swept aside with one graceful movement.
His eyes fixed on her, he approached, extended a hand and, with all the charm that, far too easily, effused from him, introduced himself.
“It is Venus herself that graces us with her presence this evening. Good evening Miss and welcome to my home. I am Dorian Gray.”
He yearned to change that hideous visage and restore it to its former youthful glory. How he had destroyed his young self. And yet, by the wonder of an unknown force, here he was, glorious as ever. The beckoning of high society, and the richness of beauty that filled it, drove him on towards lower depths. No matter the darkest moments of his failing conscience, he could not get out of this circus of pleasures. He could not escape it to find more moral grounds. How could he when he had been so excellent schooled by Harry in the wonders of total absorption into life?
Tonight, he felt the tug of both provocations intently. Harry had thrown an impromptu party and invited his usual, obscenely extravagant, list of wealthy acquaintances to Dorian’s flat. Of course, no one refused an invitation from Sir Henry, it proved always to be too greater experience to miss. Tonight seemed no exception. Dorian could smell the sickly sweet smell of Opium from his library. The fun had begun early. Dorian felt the flickering excitement that came from the promise of lavishness, but felt a little ill as it clashed in his stomach with the looming sense of foreboding that threatened to overwhelm him.
As he descended the staircase towards the billiards room, he felt the to-and-fro motion of self-argument. There were so many people, so drastically close to his greatest shame and depravity. He wanted to scream for them all to leave him in solitude to wrestle with what he had done, but that thought only left him panicked. He could not imagine passing up this opportunity to experience life at its most vivid. He could not face what life without it would be. He was scared of the dark. He was scared of being alone with himself. More so, he was scared of being alone with it. The image shattered into his expectations. Those eyes. He stopped, clutching the banister as he felt the tightening in his chest that signified the returning agitation. He looked up, a pained expression flashing momentarily across his face. He could not do this.
Then, something drifted across his senses, a vision from the corner of his eye pulling his focus away from the gnarled face and to the eternal wonder of a beautiful face. It was a newly-arrived guest, just in from the cold evening. Dorian’s mind dove into that poetic place that was summoned in all appreciations of fine art and music at the picture of the lone figure and his enthralled side emerged more willing than ever to find a goddess to worship. She was captivating and his conscientious mind was swept aside with one graceful movement.
His eyes fixed on her, he approached, extended a hand and, with all the charm that, far too easily, effused from him, introduced himself.
“It is Venus herself that graces us with her presence this evening. Good evening Miss and welcome to my home. I am Dorian Gray.”